Ever since I shared the post titled How Come I’ve been thinking about my past and the influence it has had on my art. The thoughts that rambled through my mind are the inspiration for today’s post. I’m sharing this personal information not to shame any one person or to entertain your sympathy. I simply felt the need to analyze and write about the choices I’ve made through my art.
I grew up under the influence of a domineering person. Their need to control the world around them spilled over into their interaction with others. When I was a child they used every opportunity available to attempt to control my thoughts and my actions. Even after I was married they felt the need to meddle in my life. They considered my spouse and I too ignorant to make our own decisions.
Being tired of and annoyed with their controlling nature I found ways to slowly separate myself from their grasp. My drifting away frustrated the individual immensely; but I was bound and determined to find my own way.
This person was also an angry being with a very short fuse. Their explosive personality, joined by their facial expressions and the tone in their voice sent fear through my body on a regular basis. To put it simply, I was terrified of this individual.
This person has been dead for twenty years but the mental influence they exerted over me still haunts me today. The legacy they left behind has made it difficult for me to interact with other people. Conflict of any kind terrorizes me. My difficulties with personal relationships have made me both a loner and a rebel. I don’t like being told what to do or how to do it.
So how does all this play into my quilting? Well, my desire to break free from my past is fueled by my passion for improvisational piecing. Creating an original art piece without a pattern or pre-conceived plan gives me the freedom to express myself; to break free from the negativity and rigidity of my past.
This freedom spills out through my wonky designs and vibrant colors. The imperfect lines created by my art show my desire to meander through life uninhibited by negative forces. The explosion of color echoed through most of my pieces is my voice shouting to the world that I am here and very much alive.
Art brings the joy to my heart and the breath to my lungs that I craved as a child. Without it I would suffocate.
Thank you for your visit!